Hope Among the Living

I have been thinking a lot about hope.  It's a strange, elusive thing, and it is sometimes the only thing that makes things bearable.

If I really wanted to catalog all the things to be depressed about, I suppose I could.  I could list them in all their weight, and pile them high around my bed, on top of my covers.  I could paint them dull and tragic colors to give them importance and make them my focus.  Money problems, health problems, family problems, regrets.  Things I've done wrong and things I've neglected to do,  I know I could do this, because I have done this.  I know I could do this, because I continue to do this.

Piles and piles of things that need attention and juggling and action and dumping.

The real problem is that these pile on top of my bed pin me under my covers.  They hurt and keep me captive in my bed.  They add weight so heavy that I cannot breathe or sleep.  I am lonely and sad and cannot move.  This cannot be, because I am lost under everything.

That's where hope comes in.  Peeking out through the piles, a friendly face, a sunny day, a comforting verse. When I focus inward, I only see what is hard.  But, if I focus outward, I see possibility.  I see promise.  I have hope.

And that hope not only gets me out of bed, but it can get me moving and growing.  Just like riding a bike, if you look right to where your tire is rolling, you lose your balance and can fall, but if you look forward to your goal, the small bumps in the road don't matter and you can steer clear of all the big obstacles long before they become a problem.  Fear is gone and you can enjoy the breeze flowing through your hair.

So, instead of the piles, I see the blessings.  Health problems become triumphs of management.  Money problems become miracles of how I've never been without food or shelter.  These are not just Pollyanna Bright Side things.  They are real blessings I have in my life and real promises for the future.

And maybe, just maybe, if I look outward with hope, see my own blessings I'll feel like I can help support others, and they, in turn can gain courage and help others, and so on and so on

and so on....